But it would be good if I could be, experiencing infertility and all.
Sorry if I sound sarcastic, but it's been a sad holiday. I'm 35, and have no kiddos to buy for on Christmas. However, I do have the greatest gift of all - Jesus. I have Him in my life every day - praise His name forever - so I don't need Christmas day set aside to celebrate Him. That's my feeling about it.
Anywho, today was trash day in our neighborhood. Our own trash bin was full until it was partially open. However, upon looking at our neighbor's bins - an obvious no-no if you're experiencing infertility - I noticed a discrepancy.
Large, colorful trash bags in red, blue and yellow filled one bin, complete with several large boxes outside. Another had wooden sticks and many white bags in addition to boxes announcing their now-removed contents. Even trash is different for the fertile.
Empty boxes that once held kids' toys pack the trash truck as it pulls away. Even the little things say alot to those of us experiencing loss.
So, my friends, there is 'fertile' trash and 'infertile' trash. Unless we're talking the potential for rotting, in which case all things are equal.
I surely hope 2010 is better than 2009. You can read our experiences on the side, so I'll focus on the good. I have Jesus as my savior, a loyal hubby and 2 sweet cats. I have food and a roof over my head. We have 2 cars that work. So in God's economy, we are blessed.
We each have needs, however. I will keep on giving them to my Lord, who is accomplishing His purposes through my needs. Dear Lord, have mercy on me, and rescue me from the pit. I know You are good - forever and ever.
Sometimes the little things hurt the most..and yes, it's obviously good to focus on those good things in our lives, but still, I understand the ache of having an unfulfilled desire of having a child.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support on my blog.
I hope 2010 is a much better year for the both of us!
Wow - you are so right - I never thought about even the discrepancy in trash.
ReplyDeleteI wish for all infertiles a Happier New Year and thanks for the reminder about our blessings, because it is so true.
It's funny how "we" notice things like trash and it makes us sad! It's so true that in God's economy we are blessed beyond mesure and that does greatly ease the pain. But infertility is still very hard as you well know :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't noticed a difference in trash, but it is so apparent in every other way. I, too, have been trying to force a "cheerful, this is what i'm thankful for" attitude. It is a struggle.
ReplyDeleteWishing you blessings galore in 2010. :)
What you write is always so poignant. Sometimes the little things like that really stick out to me as well and I feel like I live in a very fertile world. Hoping you have a great year ahead, friend.
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