Believing It

Ok, friends, so it's been awhile.

And we had another miscarriage since I last wrote.

Not to get all into it - because I am so sad that talking about it just breaks my heart.

I don't mean to exclude you from all this, but it is our 3rd miscarriage in a row.

We were not even 'trying'. Now of course, like any infertile, I am perpetually trying. I just mean we weren't cycling, and we sure as hell weren't prepared for this.

So, I've been SO tired. I am having trouble concentrating at work. My therapist plans to keep an eye on me. I already take an antidepressant, but I was taking two medicines until I became pregnant the last time. I tapered off one of the meds and I hope I can keep it that way.

My relationship with God is tanked. I know He will be there, and I know He is a good God. I do not feel it at all right now.

So, I'm just not f'ing believing it.

That this happened again.