Hey, all. It's a beautiful day outside, but I'm having a 'down' day today. A friend confided in me about her fiance's anger problem, and it brought up a whole barrage of feelings about my dad. I know, I haven't gone into much detail here about that, and I'm not able to at this time, but.... I grew up with a dad with anger issues. I don't think anyone finds it easy to live with someone who has anger issues, but with my personality, I've since learned it was especially damaging. So, it brings me down a lot to know that someone I care about is in this same position. And she's putting her future children at risk also.
The lifestyle change is still on!! I'm on phase 3 now, and I'm right at an 18 pound weight loss total. The best part about all of this is my body has changed so much. I recently had to go through my pants for summer and had to give away all but 3 pair! Some I could take off without even unzipping, they were so big. DH is enjoying my newfound confidence, and I am learning that I really am stronger than I thought I was. Both physically, mentally and spiritually.
I also bought 2 exercise bras. This sounds like no big deal, but 'the girls' are quite an issue for me. I'm a 36DD-DDD, having recently gotten fitted at a local S*ma Intimates store. I highly recommend S*ma - the lady was patient with me and really helped me find my right size. And as we all know ladies, a great fitting bra is a fine, fine thing!! :)
The exercise bras are from Moving C*mfort, a website I learned about on a runners' forum. I feel so confident in these bras. I don't have to worry about the girls slipping out when I do downward dog (a yoga pose) and, I don't give the guys as much to drool over when I'm out walking around our local lake. ;)
I have about 2 weeks left on phase 3, then I move into the 7-day shred. This time is designed to help you lose the last 5 pounds you desire. I have some tweaking to do, as I ideally want to lose 10 more pounds. That may or may not be possible, but I've seen the way I've been able to tone my body already, so I'm giving it a go.
I also have really enjoyed watching DH get inspired and since lose over 25 pounds himself. Wow! That was an unexpected benefit. His most recent blood work at the doctor revealed his triglycerides to be 139, down from 411 less than a year ago!! I am just blown away! Thank you, Lord. His triglycerides really concerned me before (goal is < 200), and we had tried management with medication, but DH didn't like how the medicine made him feel, so he wouldn't take it. Never did I imagine that his healthier eating would THAT drastically change his health. And that I would have a part in that! With no nagging required!
Spring is still just a hard, hard time. I thought this year would be different, with a baby boy to dress in an adorable outfit and take to have his picture made. I would send out pictures to everyone I know, whether they cared or not. I still haven't opened the nursery door. We did go in there - together, I made sure - to loan our swing to a couple taking care of a foster baby, but then the door was immediately closed again. It looks like a car wreck in there, with dreams and plans and love scattered and smashed all around.
We have no news from the adoption agency. DH finally emailed our social worker, just to let her know we were still here. She said I know it's easy for me to say, but your story touches people, so hang in there. Sigh. We most definitely don't understand God's timing, but I am learning - at a daily, even hourly pace - how to trust God. Trust doesn't come easily for me, due to my upbringing. It's been a long road of learning how to trust the Lord. But He is patient and loving - He knows our hearts. He knows when we want to trust Him, but just cannot do it. And so, I ask him to help me. Like the man who brought his son to Jesus due to a spirit causing him to have seizures, I say to the Lord 'I believe, help my unbelief' Mark 9:24.
Oh, ladies, I wish life was different - easier. Somehow, some way, we are making a difference for eternity. God is working through each of us and our circumstances, to make a lasting impression on the world for Him.