Friday, April 20, 2012

Still In It

Hello, all.  It's been a tough few days.  I can't quite pinpoint it, but I've been in a funk.  Nothing new, I suppose, but you know how you just get tired of BEING TIRED?  You get tired of BEING SAD?  Yet, it's the journey I'm on. I believe God will reveal Himself to me on it, and that will be worth it all. But I'm not there yet.  Oh, how I long to be there!

For those of you who have gone through this: does having a child in your life ease the pain of your infertility, miscarriages or failed adoptions? Or is the pain of each of those, so deep and different for each of us, still just as strong? I have a friend for whom the pain is just as real. Since I haven't made it to "the other side" yet, I am curious about your takes on this.

I have to be careful not to tell myself that very thing: that when a child joins our family, my pain will lessen. Of course, God can heal and does heal in mysterious ways and not so mysterious ways. But it's tricky interpreting for Him. The ways He orchestrates healing in my life may look nothing like the way in which He does that in yours.

Oh, Lord, please send a word to Your daughter. Send a word of Your encouragement, a word of Your favor. Most of all, Lord, send a word of Yourself. Refresh me, renew me. Do that which only You can do.

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